The Prison of Me
Complete Mental health! How does that look? I envision one of those old fashioned commercials where a woman is running through a field of flowers with her dress and curly hair fearlessly blowing in the wind, or a woman popping out of the ocean with her tresses perfectly flying away from her face. Well, what I mean is complete mental health sounds like a total lie. Now, I am not saying that everyone on earth is crazy even though I would have a lot of evidence to support that (and I mean A LOT), but I am saying that at times it seems unattainable.
There are so many stressors in the world today that could push us into a pool of anxiety. A great example would be the coronavirus. Now, the coming rant is not in any way professional. I am in no way taking away from the level of seriousness and care we should all take to maintain our physical health; this is only MY OPINION of the mental toll it is taking on us. Since the first day of being notified that a case was found in the U.S, our anxiety level rose. Then the doctor who diagnosed the virus passed away, and our anxiety rose just a bit more. Then, for us North Carolinians, we heard of the first case in Wake County and all of a sudden there is a shortage of masks, hand sanitizer, toilet tissue and anyone that sneezes in public gets the glare of death. 😡
We were all collectively FREAKING OUT! Covid-19 has turned our worlds upside down. We have all become 1000% germ conscious in the hopes of keeping our families safe, yet pack our plates completely overlooking the obesity crisis in America which is estimated to kill 300,000 people per year according to the National Institute of Health.
Okay rant over, but I write all of this to say that we are missing out on the underlying development of mental vulnerability. Did you know that according to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) 19.1% of U.S adults experienced some form of mental illness in 2018? In percentages, that does not seem like a large number of people, but let's break that down. 19.1% correlates to 47.6 million people! Yes MILLION! Let's put this in a different perspective. If you are at work, or the store, or wherever you are, go grab 4 other people (it'll be less weird if they are people you know) and look at the people beside you. Everyone seems like they might have it somewhat together; they may have a bad day or two but overall, you all are a good looking group of 5. Well, one of you has experienced mental illness. That huge number 47.6 million correlates to 1 in 5 adults in 2018 who have experienced mental illness and just think, these statistics are gathered from diagnosed data. Imagine what that number would be if all of us who have never been diagnosed were included.
Our mind is the one thing that never turns off, and for some of us, it's the reason we stay in constant torment. We are plagued by several things, yet we have never dealt with them. For me, it took a long time, I am 30 and I am just now starting to feel normalcy when it comes to my thoughts, but for a long time, I felt stagnant because my thoughts were so loud. I am a bit of a movie buff, and one of my favorites is the Twilight series. If you have ever seen Twilight Breaking Dawn 2 when Bella is changing from human to vampire, outwardly she seemed fine, but on the inside, she was screaming, well that's how my thoughts often felt. It was hard for me to control my day when I couldn't get past the distractions in my mind. If you don't deal with your inner beast it WILL devour you. 1 Peter 5:8-9 says (and I'm paraphrasing) be clearheaded and watchful because the adversary is like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. It goes on to say; "resist him and be firm in your faith knowing that the same thing that you are going through is also felt by your brothers and sisters."
WE ARE NOT ALONE! All this time I never noticed the strength that verse 9 reveals. God never promised that we wouldn't experience hard things, in fact, verse 8 is really like a pep talk reminding us to stay focused, but he does leave us with a golden nugget. Our strength lies in numbers. When we lean on the people around us experiencing the same things, we are more likely to make it. Unfortunately, culture tells us that we don't need anyone and that the only important thing is "the grind", but that is not true. We need a support system! Several studies suggest that a sturdy social support system decreases the likeliness of depression and many other things. That isn't a coincidence. Sometimes I feel as if I make it easy for the adversary to distract my mind.
I am finally getting a grip on things, but that wasn’t always my story. Truth be told, I still have rough days. For years I didn’t trust other people enough to let anyone in (even family). I kept every feeling good or bad stuffed inside causing my thoughts would make me feel so stuck. The only individual that clawed his way through my wall was my husband and that's when I realized how much I needed him. I needed his perspective, his unconditional love, his protection, and his prayers. He helped me begin to put words to all of the feelings and emotions that I had kept locked away. My husband opened my eyes to the benefit of complete vulnerability, and some of the weight that I felt started to lift little by little.
Being vulnerable to a community can sometimes be the lifeline that we need. The lion may have a ferocious roar, but he can only take down one prey at a time. When we learn to lean on each other and stay connected the lion has no choice but to retreat. There is no room for the enemy to play when we are looking out for one another. The people that we let in are the ones that help us stay focused but it doesn’t have to look one way. I hope that we can find a community here! Light up the comments with your thoughts, your questions, your anxieties, and if you are ready, your struggles. If we can commit to being “H.O.T” ( humble, open, and transparent....thanks Mike Todd) with ourselves and each other, then we can make it through anything. Remember life is too hard to do alone so let's do this WORK together!
Sources: https://www.nami.org/learn-more/mental-health-by-the-numbers
